Roller coasters are made to be exciting by being made to be scary. If you never ride one, you’ll only ever know the fear and you will never get to feel the excitement that bubbles to the top of your throat right before you go over the big drop. I guess it’s a matter of opinion as to whether it’s better to live comfortably in fear or to run head first into it. But I don’t think you can know until you at least try.
Fuck you fate. Pretty sick of your bullshit.
Today is my last day of feeling at ease for a while. The next few weeks are going to be the hardest weeks of my life. I have a feeling I haven’t truly known stress or guilt or heartache before. Not fully. But I know I will soon and I am dreading it with all my being :( my life is about to change so drastically and obviously I am scared. But it’s that kind of scared that almost feels like excitement. The future at this point is completely uncertain and yet I’m completely okay with that right now. The present is what I’m concerned about. I really hope that happiness can be found at both ends of this situation and it won’t just be a giant looming regret. But I guess I just have to wait and see.