I just suddenly started crying wtf I am seriously so emotional about this whole thing and I don’t even really understand why… I feel dumb for it, too, because I don’t even have the slightest idea what the victims nor the families of the suspects etc. are going through. It’s all just so confusing and scary :\

i have come to understand that my affection only ends up hurting the people i love. and myself.
i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to make people happy, i just want to to make people happy, i just want to make people happy. i just want to make everyone happy. i just want everyone to love me.


it sounds selfless but at the same time it is entirely selfish.

tags → #my life #personal 

i am beyond lucky to have Matt. i thank god every day that i didn’t end up with someone greedy or arrogant or selfish. instead i have a man that is always putting others before himself, always trying his hardest with everything he sets out to do, and always shares his entire self with me in wholehearted honesty. he respects me more than i deserve and he takes care of me better than i could ever reciprocate. i only hope i can one day give him everything he gives me. he is my best friend and my most intimate lover and nothing can ever break the bond we have. our fingers will always be intertwined through thick and thin. i know with the deepest realms of my heart that i will never love another stronger than I love Matt.

you know how you can feel yourself slipping out of a spot you felt like you’d be stuck in your whole life? feels good man.

tags → #personal 

please just leave me alone things are always much better when i completely forget you exist thanks

  1 year ago reblog  

these threads are the weirdest way to get caught up but whatever :\ everything you say makes me feel kind of hollow and sad

  1 year ago reblog  
tags → #my life #personal 

wow why are you using fancy word play to get a point across, why not just talk to me directly and say what you mean. getting sick of it. but whatever.

  1 year ago reblog  
tags → #personal 

JUST TALK ToOo ME, DON’T TALK AROoOoUND ME

tags → #my life #personal 

ok maybe i don’t skydive or like hike mountains or paint inspiring masterpieces while i’m tripping out on drugs and maybe all i do is play video games and make up my own pokemon and watch people out the window but AT LEAST i derive pleasure from my life and look forward to each new day. at LEAST i have people that, i can say with no doubt, love me wholeheartedly and care about me beyond my accomplishments. and AT least i can see people for who they are and find something beautiful without the exterior. that is what life is about to me and that is why i am grateful for it.

you wanna hear about my day here is how my day went first of all my computer is broken and doesn’t run unless it’s plugged in and the battery is totally dead so it can’t do jack crap and no devices will work with it so i can’t even charge my freaking phone which is also broken and crashes every app i try to run and so i was like forget this and got in a nice shower and got all dressed and then matt decided at the last possible second that he doesn’t want to do anything today and so i wasted a ton of time getting ready for nothing then we sat around deciding what to do for lunch and he didn’t want to get READY TO GO ANYWHERE even though I ALREADY DID and then i check my email and my asshole boss sent me the bitchiest rudest email i have ever read because she always treats me like i’m an idiot and think i am some kind of servant to her every need well i have a little email to write to you: I AM QUITTING THIS SHITTY JOB THE SECOND I GET HIRED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND I’D LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY TO GET SOMEONE TO FILL IN MY FULL TIME HOURS AND TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBILITIES I HAVE OKAY ok and tHEN i try to give my hours to a bimbo who constantly complains about the hours she gets at work and she says oh i’d love to but i can’t on mondays even though i told her yesterday that i would be giving her monday’s in october and she said that was fine like make up your MIND so now i’m sitting here listening to EMPEROR TO GET MY RAGE OUT BECAUSE I HATE EVERYONE AND I JUST HATE HAVING BAD DAYS WHERE NOTHING GOES THE WAY YOU PLANNED AND YOU FEEL UNACCOMPLISHED AND SHITTY UGGGHGHHHHHHHJGHSDJKGJKSDHGKJDSNKVJHDSKJHSDJKHFKJSHGVKJSDJBNADBNIDSD THAT IS HOW MY FREAKING DAY WAS THANK YOU