omg this woman is so pregnant and yet her husband dropped her off to walk on her own up icy stairs and now he is bumbling around outside the windows like a tadpole stuck in a trap wtf the door is right there how are you so confused okay and when i had her sign the risks during prgnancy waiver she was like “as long as you don’t fry my hair” like are you serious omg whyyyyyyyyy i have lost all hope for humanity

why do all these cuddleuppet things look stoned out of their minds? like is this a joke?

u ok facebook

r u drunk facebook

ok so i tried 2 explain this 2 driftor and he didnt get it so let me ask u ppl this!!!!! do u ever wake up in the morning and get like a really thirstY feeling???? and like u drink a bunch of juice cuz u think that will help but it doesnt quench it and ur like ok maybe i ned 2 go swimming or take a bath like submerge my body in water somehow but that woudnt halp it either!!!! its like this thirsty feeling in your stomach that maybe u just want to be in 100% relaxation or something and u cant quench it!!!!! idk maybe i am jus dehydrated or crazy who the fuq knos amirite lol ok if u kno wat i mean tho plz TELL ME cuz i need REASSURANCE dat i’m not al0ne plz :( ok thx every1 foar ur time

rite now i am watching mrs. doubtfire on mute and listening to dubstep and it is a WiLd time in here daaayuuummmm robin williams

ok so why does everyone suddenly call me ~*~*gurl*~*~ now ok i obv need to hang out with moar gurls fuq da ploleez

tags → #wtf #my life #gurl 
tags → #wtf #omg #O_O 
Matt: Oh, are you listening to Mocha Joe?
Me: It's Britney Spears.
Matt: ...Oh.
Me: ...What the heck is Mocha Joe?
Matt: I dunno, I thought she was saying that.
5 minutes later...
Matt: Mocha Joe is a coffee place in Hollywood.
Me: ...
tags → #wtf #my life